Permanence is about time. Pervasiveness is about space. When you get heart palpitations are you able to forget about them once they pass? Or do you get depressed for the rest of the day or start worrying about the next time you might get them? Some people can put their troubles neatly in a box and go about their lives even when one apect of it--their health, for example, is suffering. Others bleed all over everything. They catastrophize. There have been times, when I have had heart palpitations that I can barely muster enough strength to get out of bed. The depression becomes so heavy it effects my entire life. I no longer want to exercise, spend time with my loved ones, leave my house, or go to my job. I just want to wallow in self-pity and curse my bad luck. I believe the key to accepting heart palpitations is to accept that not only will they last forever (permanence) but that I can still go on with my life and do the things I want and need to do. I may have to pause and relax or deep breathe when they are occurring, but once they are finished, I should be able to bounce back and get back into the game of life. Today, I had a fun but busy morning hanging out with extended family. I felt very sleepy after lunch but wasn't able to take a nap until after my in-laws had left. I got some pretty scary heart palpitations and when I went to lay down I could feel I was in bigeminy. I freaked out at first but I was able to calm done and fall asleep. A few years a go, that episode would have caused me to be depressed for the rest of the day. It would have caused me a lot of anticipatory anxiety for the next couple days. But today, after I woke up, I felt good. I acknowledged that the heart palpitations were temporary due to fatigue. I was able to get up and go on with my day. I even went to the mall. Today, I did not let my PVC episode bleed into the rest of my life.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
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2 comments:
ali,
i can't thank you enough for your funny and intelligent outlook on the pounding thuds that haunt me. these pesky PVC's can make me feel beyond isolated even if surrounded by hundreds of people. thank you for sharing. it's people like you that make the rest of breathe a little easier.
thank you!!
mary
Mary, isn't it so wonderful to know that we're not alone? That's why it's so great to hear from people like yourself. I take comfort in knowing that there are others like me. Because believe me, I know exactly what you are describing. I have felt all alone at times, and people that don't experience heart palpitations have no idea how scary they feel. I wish you all the best and may you have happy heart health. Thanks for your sweet comment.
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