Turning 33

For some reason, turning 33 really made me think about the duration of human life. It seems like just the other day I was turning 32. My children's birthdays seem to fly from one to the other. My husband and I are going on a cruise next month to celebrate our 10 year anniversary (on Carnival, nonetheless). It really does feel like the other day, and yet thinking of all the things that have happened in that decade makes me realize a lot of time has gone by. I have noticed it on my physical body as well. Even though I have probably never been more fit and healthy, I see the age spots on my face. I see the stomach that has carried two girls and will never look the way it did. I have acknowledged the fact that I will never go back to the day when I didn't know what a heart palpitation was. Sometimes when I see my young girls, I covet their youthful experience. When the best part of the day is eating a chocolate cupcake on your mom's birthday and the worst part of the day is when your tiny tinker bell snow globe breaks. That age of innocence is a brief breath of the human existence. We do grow indeed in stature, in wisdom, in heartache, in grief, and in joy. And at 33, I believe I'm sort of in the middle of it. You know you have to be somewhat old when your cake has only one candle on it. So there's no escaping time. As much as I want to freeze it and not let my girls get any bigger, I know it can't be so. The only thing we can do is embrace every moment and live in the present.

And in light of my birthday, I decided to change my blog design, add labels to ease search, and update my picture (the old pict of me was when I was 23). Hope you like the changes I made. 

31-years-old

Sunday was my birthday. I'm now 31 years old. Turning 30 was really difficult for me. My cousin died when she was 30, and I think it has always haunted me. I even played this twisted game in my head that somehow I would die when I was 30 of a heart arrhythmia just like her. I'm so thankful to God that I lived through 30 and He has given me yet another day to take care of my precious little girl. My heart still weeps that Beth did not.