2013...in with a bang?

2012 was a pretty good year for me, in regards to how I dealt with stress, anxiety, and an occasional heart palpitation. 2013 came in with a bang, literally. My heart has been banging all over the place the last couple of weeks. I blame it on holiday stress, a change of routine and schedule, too many sugary treats, lack of exercise, and a lack of sunshine. And even though I have tried to heed all of my own healing advice the last week or so, nothing has changed. I'm still suffering with an abundance of pvc's and chronic tension headaches. I'd like to think of my body and my heart as somehow taking a beating at the end of last year (by overextending myself, traveling too much, and not giving myself enough rest and relaxation) and now I'm bruised. The harmful forces may be over, but the aftermath is not. I have to keep reminding myself that. My heart palpitations are not going to go away over night despite all the therapeutic things I can do for myself right now. I just have to keep plugging away at eating right, getting sleep, keeping my stress levels down (even if heart anxiety is the only thing that is plaguing me right now), breathing with awareness, etc. and have HOPE that things are going to get better soon. This too shall pass. This too shall pass. My physical and emotional body needs to heal first, and then my heart will find a more peaceful rhythm.

But man, this recent bout of ectopic beats has reminded me how much pvc's suck (for lack of a better word). They can be annoying as hell when you lay down to go to sleep in the evening. They can ruin a sweet moment with your child when you have an episode while reading to her. They can still scare the beejeezus out of me when I get all warm and nauseated after a particularly forceful one. They can come out of the blue. They can come when you are feeling blue. They can come whenever they damn well please. Go away, now, you pesky palpitations. I have been humbled.

How has your 2013 gone thus far? Any new years resolutions to take better care of yourself?

I hope and pray you have a happy healthy heart this year!

"When My Heart Finds Christmas"

Harry Connick, Jr. croons this song, "When My Heart Finds Christmas" in his first Christmas album titled by the same name.

I don't know about you but when my heart finds Christmas it does a little palpitation dance. The hustle and the bustle of the season (God forgive me) makes me sort of dread the Christmas season. December and the even more bleak month of January are often hard months for me. And I know I'm not alone. Numerous studies as well as anecdotal evidence from distress centers and crisis workers confirm that there is an increase in both the numbers and severity of calls by depressed and anxious individuals during the holiday season.

The holiday season is often a period of frenetic activity, a time when people are trying to juggle work, an increase in social obligations, shopping, decorating, wrapping, entertaining and staying on budget. All this leads to a rise in both physical and emotional stress. It is also often a time for reflection. A time when others look back and see the losses they incurred--loss of a loved one through death, divorce or separation, loss of a job, or even loss of familiar social environment.

How can we manage the stresses of the season? I found an online article on wikiHow, and although its a bit long-winded, I think it has some good tips on how to beat the holiday blues. And whatever you do this Christmas season, don't start a major kitchen renovation in the middle of Dec. like we're doing this year. When you have to contemplate whether or not to get a tree because you're worried about the remodeling dust, you know you picked the wrong time of year to do it.

How to Sidestep Depression/Anxiety During the Holidays

1) Start early. As the adage “The early bird catches the worm" counsels, getting a head start on your holiday preparations can save you a lot of headaches later on. Gather your family members and quiz them on their favorite foods. Compile a list of your favorite meals, then select the ones that combine the best. Who ever said you can’t have spaghetti for a holiday meal? Do what works for yourself and your family. Reaching a compromise and an agreement early on takes the stress out of last-minute meal planning.

2) Shop ahead. If you have a mile-long list of people to gift this year, consider buying in bulk. Forget buying an individual gift for all your child’s preschool pals. Go to a warehouse which sells things in large quantities and earmark those items for larger groups.

3)** Remember the reason for the season. If you come from a Christian background, remind your children that Christmas is not about Santa Claus alone, but about celebrating Jesus’s birthday. We give and receive gifts as a reminder of his importance in our lives.

4) Manage your children's expectations. It will help prevent an embarrassing outburst on Christmas morning in front of Aunt Sarah when your child fails to get his favorite toy.

5) Make a mailing list. Use your Excel computer application, if you have one, to manage your addresses. Have your children help dig through old Christmas cards to find addresses of long lost friends and relatives. Allow your children to cut up the old Christmas cards to make new ones of their own.

6) Use an Advent calendar. Advent begins on the fourth Sunday before Christmas. In order to help children deal with the anxiety of waiting, wrap little treats for the child to open each day after the beginning of Advent, or use a regluar calendar and put a special sticker on each day as it begins.

7) Get exercise. For those in the Northern Hemisphere, light is a precious commodity. Be sure to get out during your lunch break for a bit of sun exposure. Even on cloudy days, it can revive your spirit and give you the oxygen you require. Shovel snow if it applies to you. (HAAAAAAAA if you live in Texas like I do)

8) Get enough sleep. Have you noticed that when the days are shorter your need for sleep increases? It is a natural response. In a way, our bodies shut down. Honoring your need for rest is as important as ever.

9) Eat vitamin-enriched food. If the sun is weaker in your area, your daily dose of vitamins needs to come from your food intake. Take vitamins and drink fruit tea and lemon to stave off the common cold.

10) Communicate with your partner. Oftentimes, admitting you feel blue is all you need to reach acceptance that things aren’t always perfect.

11) Take time to celebrate with friends, or catch up with people you may not see often. A phone call to distant relatives or friends will brighten both your days.

12) Volunteer in your neighborhood. Helping others often gives a boost to your own spirit, and is a good way to meet new people and build new friendships. Is there a canned food drive? What about gift wrapping for a charity? Maybe a soup kitchen?

13) Celebrate the winter solstice. Mark off the days on your calendar to encourage yourself that a new beginning is right around the corner. Gather with friends to honor this age-old rite of passage into the season of renewal.

14)The winter solstice also marks the fewest number of daylight hours, and that can make getting out of bed difficult in the mornings. To create your own artificial "sunrise" in an otherwise dark bedroom, use a multi-light lamp hooked up to timer. There are other ways to Brighten-up-a-Dark-Room too.

**Something I would like to add to step 3. There is a wonderful movement going on called the Advent Conspiracy. The concept behind this movement is to recreate Christmas whereby we Worship Fully, Spend Less, Give More, and Love All. Check it out if you ever have an empty feeling of missed purpose during Christmas.

Which Came First, the Fear or the Flutter?

I believe a stressful first year of college along with genetics and the death of my beloved cousin was the catalyst in the beginning of my heart palpitations. I feared them and had a couple panic attacks after experiencing many in a row. So I believe my panic attacks started when I first got the dance in my heart. In fact, most of my panic attacks today still revolve around when anticipating or experiencing a bad round of PVCs. About 5 years a go, I was in the midst of the hardest year of my life--my first year teaching. Up until Christmas of that first year I was just trying to stay afloat. I got up early, taught seven year old children, pacified crazy parents, worked late, and came home only to crash on the couch. I dropped below 100 pounds that year. In the Spring of that year, I was driving to Target on the highway and thought I felt a couple flip flops. My heart started to race and I panicked. I started to hyperventilate and the only thing I could think of was to get off that highway as quickly as possible. As soon as I exited, my heart started to calm down, and I was able to complete my shopping trip taking side streets on the way home. Little did I know that that event would trigger one of my biggest anxieties that I deal with to date. Driving on the highway. I can get around okay for the most part and even a couple years a go, I thought I had it beat because I drove all the way to Austin from San Antonio by myself. But I got pregnant and for whatever reason toting a child and being responsible for her safety made me fear the highway again. I had a big panic attack last Summer while getting on the highway and I haven't been on it since.

So that leads me to the important question: Which came first, the panic or the heart flutters? It seems like if you look at my history, the heart flutters began while I was driving on the highway. Then the panic set in. But I can see it the other way around, too. The stress of driving that day 5 years a go caused the palpitations. And now I associate the highway with palpitations--the two linked with fear and loss of control.

I've come so far at accepting my heart palpitations. And overall I think I'm a highly functioning person. I don't let my fear of highway driving stop me from going out. In fact sometimes I think I even overcompensate by making sure I don't close myself off from the world like Paula Deen did. I'm pretty social and I definitely want my daughter to see me driving around and going places. Currently I'm on a new found quest to start driving on highways again. I'm looking into a trying out a highly recommended source--"The Original Driving Fear Program" at http://www.drivingfear.com/index.php. I'm also working on trying not to feel embarassed or ashamed that I'm not comfortable driving on highways. There are certain people in my life that I would still like to tell and have them offer me support.

Maybe one day I'll be that annoying girl cruising on the highway--windows opened, music blaring, singing loudly, and hair flying.